God Bless Chick-Fil-A

So, for one or two of you who may not be aware of its existence, Chick-Fil-A is a fast food chicken restaurant, and they serve damn good chicken -- fried especially, but also grilled. They have a few items that qualify as gluten free, but most importantly, they have a condiment known as Polynesian Sauce. In our house, it is referred to as Palls-en-esian Sauce, and if you drizzled it on an old shoe, I would go all-in that my son would eat at least half of it. Best of all, all of the sauces at Chick-Fil-A are gluten free, (per both their website and the ingredient labels).

Nutritionally speaking, I am not a fan of sweet (more like a sweet and sour) sauces, especially for kids, but this is almost the ONLY way I can get my son to eat meat. (What preceded my son's celiac diagnosis was a few years of what can only be described as feeding hell, due to some sensory issues. Several studies have alluded to the reduction of oral sensory dysfunctions in celiac children once on a GF diet, and I would definitely say that his aversions have gotten much better over the last five months.)

The aforementioned condiment elixir is provided whenever you purchase chicken items, but since most of their food is now off limits to us, we still acquire sauce packets. Here's how you do it, if you're lucky enough to live near (or even not so near) a CFA: Eight ounce containers of this sauce are sold via their catering menu, and you can buy them. The one ounce containers are not typically sold, but you can ask them to sell you eight of the one ounce packs for the same price as the 8 oz. bowl (something like $1.79). I used to swing by every couple of months and buy about 32 or so of the packs, and then I was stocked for dinners, lunches (lunchbox), one or two for the car, in case we decided to have dinner with friends, etc.

In addition, the grilled chicken breasts are GF, and they now have grilled chicken nuggets!! French fries, hashbrowns, and non-biscuit breakfast items are also listed as GF on their website, though they don't guarantee that all food prep areas are safe. But here's what you can do: ask the person taking your order to "RED FLAG" your food for wheat allergies (easier for most people to process if you tell them you have a serious allergy). Tell them to specifically red flag your food for wheat cross contamination, and ask them to have the person touching your food to change their gloves before handling it. Each and every time I have made this request, the person taking my order or the manager immediately walks back to the kitchen, personally ensures that the gloves are changed, and my food is placed immediately into a container that is then sealed. (Additional Mommy tip: if you order a kid's meal, you can surrender the "toy," which is usually now a book or a game, for ice cream. If you're eating GF, just make sure they put the ice cream (vanilla) in a cup, never a cone.)

To most people, this may not sound like much. But I can tell you that the care and attention that these wonderful people take when making sure that I or my son can eat some french fries has almost brought me to tears on several occasions. We have eaten in highly acclaimed restaurants where the chef meets with us before ordering for a culinary consultation and then personally goes back practically into a bubble to cook for us, only to have an "operations error" where the expediter accidentally brings us the wrong food. Um, this sucks, and it makes me much less trusting when it comes to "eating out," if that's even how you can refer to my transactions at Chick Fil A.

**Note: sometimes, if inside the restaurant, my son likes to play in the indoor playground, but he MUST ALWAYS wash his hands afterwards, before he eats. The kids that he's playing with have probably just handled chicken nuggets, and they are joyously applying a greasy film of gluten to the slide and gym. Just a heads up.

Best,

Whip

NCS, 5 Months Later

So here we are, in the spring. NCS was diagnosed as celiac in early October, and he went totally and completely GF ten minutes later. The following is just a basic rundown of how we've navigated these waters, in case it could possibly help anyone else.

Quick recap: Total cleansing and purging of almost all food and small kitchen appliances/tools. Check. Full brain immersion in all things GF/celiac, including a thorough education on cross contamination. Check. Crash course education of all friends and family members on cross contamination. Check. Boy healed and growing... Check.

We pretty much live our lives in our home as we did before. Our house is absolutely GF, no flour in the house, and nothing that ever touched flour in the house. I cook just as I did before, but now with a wonderful premixed flour blend that I can substitute for regular flour, cup for cup. Easy. The difficulty comes in when we venture out into the world. We still don't eat out very much (maybe three times in five months), and I'm not so sure that will really resume anytime soon. NCS' school has been nothing short of incredibly supportive throughout this journey, and I can't thank them enough for respecting NCS and protecting his health.

I just calculated NCS' growth in height with my ultra scientific measuring device: marks on the kitchen door frame. It seems that he's grown 1.5 inches since October, and I know that he's gone up two sizes in his clothes and probably three in shoes. This can only mean that he has healed, and his body is now celebrating everything he eats with a burst of growth.

Symptom-wise, he hasn't thrown up since he went GF, and he's only had one or two tummy aches, which could certainly be attributed to almost anything else typically ingested by a five year old. And the "celiac belly," think Save-the-Childrenesque bloated Ethiopian belly... gone.

He understands that he has celiac disease, and it means that he can't have anything with gluten in it. He is absolutely amazing in that he assumes that any new food is contaminated, and he asks me or another reliable source ("Mommy, look this up on your phone.") whether or not he can safely eat it. He has a few backup snacks at home and school that he can indulge in when his friends are toasting each other with cupcakes, and we have a freezer full of GF cupcakes, which I have learned are really just a safe, yet labor intensive delivery device for icing and sprinkles.

This is a short list of his approved snacks:

* Fruit (except unwashed strawberries and unpeeled non-organic apples)

* Lays (unflavored) chips: from Stax (like Pringles, but safe) to baked, which he loves

* Vanilla ice cream (we buy Blue Bell, vanilla only)

* Plain popcorn (we pop the kernels at home, don't trust microwave bags or ingredients)

* Xochil corn chips (he likes the blue ones), and I think Tostitos scoops are safe

* Ore Ida french fries and hash browns (haven't checked out the "extra crispy" varieties)

These are some things that we have learned are NOT SAFE:

* unpeeled conventional (non-organic) apples: wax on the skin may contain gluten

* Pringles

* Mission brand corn chips (processed in a facility that also processes wheat)

* Chocolate ice cream (depends on the brand, read labels carefully)

* Frozen yogurt with any "cookie/cake" flavors (cookies & cream, wedding cake, etc.)

* McDonald's fries: rumored to be safe, but THEY CONTAIN WHEAT (also hash browns)

These are the snacks that we usually have on hand, just in case. Lunchbox wise, he primarily eats cantaloupe, bananas, grapes, and Boar's Head turkey/cheese wraps (use the turkey slices as the outside wrapping), plain popcorn. Occasionally, I'll include GF chicken nuggets (either homemade or Ian's), with Chick Fil A Polynesian sauce.

More later,

Whip

Galaxy Glue

I've been singing that song to myself all week.

I am exhausted, and I feel like the Incredible Shrinking Woman. The end part, where they tell her what's making her smaller.

I have a lot to say, but unless I can type whilst sleeping, I'll have to say it this weekend.

No Good

My cornbread was awful.

If there is one thing in the world that I can make perfectly, without fail, it's cornbread. I made it tonight, and it just didn't turn out. Was it the GF flour that I added (1 Tbsp.), or the new cast iron skillet that replaced the old contaminated one? Either way, I'm frustrated and a little pissed off.

I'm a little resentful that my tastebuds seem to be a little lame. Things that seemed to taste awful just 10 days ago now seem delightful. What's that all about?

A very sweet lady gave me a huge bag of cookies tonight. There were flavors and combinations that no one should ever really have to dream up, but several potential culinary horrors were actually represented beautifully in the form of such creations as coconut quinoa and chocolate orange cookies. Three weeks ago, I don't know what I would have done with these cookies, but they are really good!

There is a lot of underlying frustration in these words, but I am in the midst of an abyss of exhaustion at the moment. Meal planning is a bit taxing, but most of all, I feel like I am at the produce market every single day. My son eats a bunch (5 or so) bananas a day, plus at least one canataloupe. I urge anyone who may be reading this -- BUY STOCK IN CHIQUITA!! And possibly even a cantaloupe farm!

More later, y'all.

Bad. Ass.

I have many things to say about celiac disease and our healthy new gluten free diet, but many of them are negative. Because I am just so tired of all things negative, I would like to reveal something else entirely.

Something serious is going on with me. I don't know if it's the new diet or maybe all the stress that I've been under, but I am a changed woman.

If any of you know me at all, you know how terrified I am of lizards. Small ones, large ones, green ones, brown ones, black ones, see-through ones, spotted ones, striped ones, neon ones, indiginous ones, imported ones, baby ones, aggressive ones, fast ones, dead ones... you get it. Those closest to me may recall that I almost didn't marry JS because of an incident that we now politely refer to as the Lizard In the Christmas Tree Incident, but this isn't the time to discuss it... still too painful.

Well, you see, my house has been invaded by lizards twice in the last week, and I took care of them. By "taking care of them," I am not referring to sucking them up with the vacuum cleaner (ahem.. JS!), and I did not squirt them with Windex until they drowned.* Instead, I identified the problem (offending lizard), formulated a plan (remove them, STAT), acquired the required equipment (plastic bowl and some sort of lid or paper... you get it), and went to work (without screams or requiring oxygen). I don't remember much about what happened, but somehow the trespassing reptiles found themselves propelled safely into the grass. All because of me.

I don't know what exactly has changed within me, but it simply MUST BE the new and improved Gluten Free Whipper that has emerged, sans lizard phobia. There is no other explanation. And I think that if I remain in SoFla, I might have to start wearing some sort of cape. I have truly turned a corner.

*I don't even own Windex, and I would never squirt anything larger than a housefly with a cleaning product. I mean, I would squirt a roach to death if I was forced to, but I have never had the opportunity.

Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I tossed and turned and was borderline freaking out over all this celiac brouhaha. It hit me right in that quiet little moment right before I was able to fall asleep that I had not baked any GF cupcakes. Someone told me on facebook that their friend, the mother of a celiac child, baked a whole bunch of magical GF cupcakes and kept them in the freezer so that whenever there was a party or celebratory function at her child's school...viola! Perfect mom saves the day with a perfect cupcake, child isn't left out of sad, and the whole class has a rockin' cupcake party. Well, I have no such jewels in our freezer. I even snapped up a cute little $10 countertop cupcake maker with this exact purpose in mind.

I tried to calm myself down and just rationalize with myself. Really, out of the entire class of 18 kids in NCS' kindergarten class, what were the chances that I wouldn't have time to find out when the next party is scheduled and somehow find the perfect freezer-friendly, non-bricklike, GF cupcake? Like almost zero? I mean really, why was I getting all worked up for nothing?

Fast forward a few hours -- and I mean just a few, because I got like no sleep -- dropping the boy off at school. When is the next cupcake party? Oh, today. Seriously, today. I somehow saved the day with an emergency procurement of naturally GF vanilla ice cream, but I still felt unprepared.

I have so many factoids, claims, and even rumors swirling around in my head, I can barely think straight. And as the purpose of this blog is to get my thoughts filed away properly, here are the rumors on the street and on the internets, as well as a few thoughts and fears of my own:

• 100% pure Maple Syrup is GF
• Maltodextrin, though on the "Do Not Eat" list, is alleged to be GF in the US, but not GF in Europe. Whatever.
• Both coke and pepsi (just regular and diet are all I've looked up), although they contain "caramel color," are alleged to be GF by their respective makers. They are rumored to make these claims legally because the possible amounts of gluten present are trace-to-scant-to-maybe even zero. Seriously? Can't we just be honest about the source of our caramel color?
• Publix has clear and concise GF info on their website. http://www.publix.com/managed_pdfs/2011/Gluten_Free_2011.04.pdf
• You can google "Is (xxxxx) gluten free?" and receive excellent information on almost anything under the sun from the websites of celiac.org and celiac.com's forums.
• Purely distilled vinegars are allegedly GF, but then some sources say to stay away from all vinegars because they are started with a barley mash.
• Hormel canned chicken is GF. I can't think of a single reason why I would ever buy this, but it's in my head.
• The wax on fruit -- non-organic apples, specifically -- allegedly contains gluten. I plan to buy organic apples, and scrub them anyway.
• Pringles DO contain gluten; Lays Stax potato chips are GF.
• Most of Frito Lay's chips (corn and potato) are GF.
• Tostito's Scoops are GF, but some of their fancy "Artisan" chips are not.
• The glue in envelopes contains gluten. Don't lick it.
• Boar's Head meats and cheeses are GF.
• Publix mayonaisse is GF, as are Heinz Ketchup and French's mustard
• Hand sanitizer is no substitute for hand washing when it comes to reducing or preventing cross contamination.
• I bought a very expensive GF flour blend that can be substituted for regular flour (equal parts), and it's working out okay so far. I'm not ready to post any testimonials yet.
• I don't trust any restaurant to prepare GF food for us right now.. I haven't tested the waters yet. I'm too afraid.
• GF homemade bread is really, really good straight out of the oven, but begins to take on a plaster-like texture after 36 hours. Maybe I'll take up skeet shooting.

I'm sure I'll add to all of this later, and I will probably become more organized as time goes on. Well, hopefully.

And oh yeah, bonus: I have celiac disease, too. Today was my first full gluten-free day.

Contaminated? Me?

Okay, all of this is kind of hard.

It's one thing to have to buy or bake gluten free bread, which kind of sucks, but that's really just the tip of the iceberg.

Shopping (and the research that has to go into it) is more difficult than I imagined. So I did a little homework, and I printed a list of stuff that's not allowed. This list is not short. By any means. And I found out on Whole Foods' website that they have a handy dandy little book when you walk in, detailing all of the GF products on the shelves. I loaded NCS up in the car, and we set out in search of everything GF, and I really mean everything.

You see, NCS has a sensory processing disorder, which affects his feeding. Long story short, some textures just really freak him out. Not freak out as in "I really don't like this," but FREAK OUT as in "my brain does not know what to do with this stuff in my mouth, and not only can I not take it, but I am going to go all Exorcist on you!" I can't even begin to really explain it, but let's just say that carbs (breads, crackers, pizza crusts, etc.) are very, very important to him. The sensory stuff kind of makes the GF choices much more narrow.

Whole Foods was out of the handy dandy GF shopping guide, so the nice lady printed it out for me on computer paper. Although I really do appreciate the thought behind the guide, it's pretty difficult to use, especially when you have a boy in the large part of the grocery cart who really would like to be anywhere else. I think I'm a pretty tough person, and I can take many of the crazy curve balls that motherhood sends me, but this shopping list + the long list of stuff that he can't eat almost reduced me to tears. I mean really, is maltodextrin GF or not? The list says he can't have it, but the internet says he can.

Soap box alert: Would someone just stop putting this sort of crap in our food? Maltodextrin? Sodium diphosphate? Artificial flavorings? Caramel color? All of this, by the way, is exactly why I think people have this ridiculous disease. Wheat should be found IN BREAD, NOT SHREDDED CHEESE OR SHAMPOO!

Two such trips to Whole Foods and one such trip to Publix (whose website has a LOT of great GF information), and I think I kind of have an idea of what I'm doing. And then I find out about the whole concept of cross contamination, which was a bit mind-blowing. I just think of gluten like it's a virus or a terrible bacteria. I mean, it's just a microscopic little protein particle that can be passed from person to object/person/pet. If it's on your hands because maybe you ate a turkey wrap, and then you touch a GF cookie to give to your son, you've contaminated him. Perhaps you aren't even so stupid as to just go ahead and handle his cookie... maybe you just touch the handle of the refrigerator, and then your celiac child (yes, that's what they call them, celiacs..) opens the fridge and then eats the cookie on his own accord, BAM! Cross contamination. You've just infected your kid, or glutened him.

Now as you begin to embrace the concept of cross contamination, think about this... Say that you made some regular pasta in your kitchen back in those happy days when you didn't know the term "celiac disease." Perhaps you even stirred the boiling pasta with a $12 wooden spoon from Crate & Barrel... You guessed it, BAM! Cross contamination. Throw it out. Same with your toaster, waffle iron, cast iron skillet, kitchen sponges, plastic kitchenware, all cutting boards, etc. I'm sure there still more that I haven't even thought of yet.. I'm learning more every day. And I really, really miss my wooden spoons.