Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I tossed and turned and was borderline freaking out over all this celiac brouhaha. It hit me right in that quiet little moment right before I was able to fall asleep that I had not baked any GF cupcakes. Someone told me on facebook that their friend, the mother of a celiac child, baked a whole bunch of magical GF cupcakes and kept them in the freezer so that whenever there was a party or celebratory function at her child's school...viola! Perfect mom saves the day with a perfect cupcake, child isn't left out of sad, and the whole class has a rockin' cupcake party. Well, I have no such jewels in our freezer. I even snapped up a cute little $10 countertop cupcake maker with this exact purpose in mind.

I tried to calm myself down and just rationalize with myself. Really, out of the entire class of 18 kids in NCS' kindergarten class, what were the chances that I wouldn't have time to find out when the next party is scheduled and somehow find the perfect freezer-friendly, non-bricklike, GF cupcake? Like almost zero? I mean really, why was I getting all worked up for nothing?

Fast forward a few hours -- and I mean just a few, because I got like no sleep -- dropping the boy off at school. When is the next cupcake party? Oh, today. Seriously, today. I somehow saved the day with an emergency procurement of naturally GF vanilla ice cream, but I still felt unprepared.

I have so many factoids, claims, and even rumors swirling around in my head, I can barely think straight. And as the purpose of this blog is to get my thoughts filed away properly, here are the rumors on the street and on the internets, as well as a few thoughts and fears of my own:

• 100% pure Maple Syrup is GF
• Maltodextrin, though on the "Do Not Eat" list, is alleged to be GF in the US, but not GF in Europe. Whatever.
• Both coke and pepsi (just regular and diet are all I've looked up), although they contain "caramel color," are alleged to be GF by their respective makers. They are rumored to make these claims legally because the possible amounts of gluten present are trace-to-scant-to-maybe even zero. Seriously? Can't we just be honest about the source of our caramel color?
• Publix has clear and concise GF info on their website. http://www.publix.com/managed_pdfs/2011/Gluten_Free_2011.04.pdf
• You can google "Is (xxxxx) gluten free?" and receive excellent information on almost anything under the sun from the websites of celiac.org and celiac.com's forums.
• Purely distilled vinegars are allegedly GF, but then some sources say to stay away from all vinegars because they are started with a barley mash.
• Hormel canned chicken is GF. I can't think of a single reason why I would ever buy this, but it's in my head.
• The wax on fruit -- non-organic apples, specifically -- allegedly contains gluten. I plan to buy organic apples, and scrub them anyway.
• Pringles DO contain gluten; Lays Stax potato chips are GF.
• Most of Frito Lay's chips (corn and potato) are GF.
• Tostito's Scoops are GF, but some of their fancy "Artisan" chips are not.
• The glue in envelopes contains gluten. Don't lick it.
• Boar's Head meats and cheeses are GF.
• Publix mayonaisse is GF, as are Heinz Ketchup and French's mustard
• Hand sanitizer is no substitute for hand washing when it comes to reducing or preventing cross contamination.
• I bought a very expensive GF flour blend that can be substituted for regular flour (equal parts), and it's working out okay so far. I'm not ready to post any testimonials yet.
• I don't trust any restaurant to prepare GF food for us right now.. I haven't tested the waters yet. I'm too afraid.
• GF homemade bread is really, really good straight out of the oven, but begins to take on a plaster-like texture after 36 hours. Maybe I'll take up skeet shooting.

I'm sure I'll add to all of this later, and I will probably become more organized as time goes on. Well, hopefully.

And oh yeah, bonus: I have celiac disease, too. Today was my first full gluten-free day.